Your Status Didn’t Retire—It’s Evolving
In 2023, I found myself wondering: Why does being laid off and being pushed to step away from a working career feel hard since it brings a lot of freedom? But as retirement arrived so abruptly, something unexpected crept in. A quiet question: Who am I now?
And even deeper than that... Do I still matter, really matter in a ‘be productive’ kind of way?
We’re Wired for Status—But We Get to Redefine It
Neuroscience tells us that the drive for status isn’t just about ego—it’s about survival. I listen to a lot of Dr. Andrew Huberman’s podcasts. As a neuroscientist and professor at Stanford, he has published a lot of really good talks about how our brains and hormones (especially dopamine and testosterone) are closely tied to our perception of status (an identity as leader, as expert, as a problem solver). One very poignant point he makes repeatedly is that this status striving and monitoring are wired into us because, for most of human history, higher status meant better chances of safety, resources, and connection.
I will admit that these podcasts sometimes felt reductionist to me and uncomfortable since I'm not a primate and I’m more than hormones and biology. So I thought, at first. The incredible interaction between our mind and body is awe inspiring. There is deep interconnectedness.
When I really thought about this, I felt a sense of enlightenment, even relief —no wonder this significant transition felt so disorienting. My brain was reacting to a perceived “loss” of status, even though, in reality, I had the chance to redefine it on my own terms. I have never lived during a time of deprivation like my grandparents (especially my grandmother who lived outside of London during WWI). I intellectually knew that I wasn’t losing status in terms of resources, family or safety. The truth was: I wasn’t losing status—I was being invited to reimagine it.
The Grief of Letting Go—and the Gift That Follows
Retirement can bring an identity vacuum, and it’s totally normal to feel a little lost at first. Even feel a sense of grief. I’ve worked with people who describe the early days of retirement like drifting in open water—no meetings, no feedback, no one asking for your opinion.
But here’s the truth I’ve come to believe: status doesn’t vanish. It transforms.
And if we’re open to it, this chapter of life offers an even deeper, more lasting kind of value—one not tied to job performance or LinkedIn titles, but to meaning, impact, and legacy.
What Status Can Look Like Now
Let me ask you something: when you imagine someone who’s highly respected in your life, what comes to mind?
For me, it’s not their resume. It’s their presence. Their wisdom. The way they show up for others.
That’s the kind of status I want to grow into.
I’ve found purpose in mentoring younger professionals—sharing what I’ve learned, not because I need to prove myself, but because I finally have the time and space to give generously.” - SCORE Mentor
Dr. James Hollis, a Jungian analyst, talks about the second half of life as a call to listen more deeply to our inner voice—what he calls the “soul’s agenda.” This is the part of us that cares less about impressing others and more about living authentically, with meaning. That really landed for me.
“What do I really want to give my energy to? What do I want my life to stand for now?”
New Sources of Respect and Purpose
Here are a few ways I’ve seen people (myself included) reclaim a meaningful sense of status in retirement:
Volunteering in ways that truly matter to you. It’s not about checking a box—it’s about feeling useful again. Studies show volunteering boosts well-being and even longevity. But beyond that, it reminds us we still have something valuable to offer.
Deepening relationships. For years, I missed out on real connection with close friends and with new ones because I was “too busy.” Now I’ve found status in being a present grandparent, a reliable friend, a good neighbor. That matters.
Tackling meaningful personal projects. Whether it’s writing, caregiving, advocacy, or restoring a local park—creating something that didn’t exist before gives us that sense of pride and place again.
Becoming a mentor. Sharing your lived wisdom not only helps others—it reinforces your value in ways that are profound and lasting.
In my journey, It became clear after 6 months of being laid off that I didn't need a cool title or company to work for to feel respected, valued or to have an impact. What I needed was to feel aligned with my values, my ideal life structure, to be useful to my community, and at peace with who I could become.
The New Status Symbol? Creating Purpose.
What if we measured status not by how much we accomplish, but by how deeply we live? Not by how many people report to us, but by how many lives we touch?
That shift doesn’t happen overnight. It takes some unlearning. But once it begins, the rewards are extraordinary.
So if you’re feeling a little invisible these days, or wondering what your place in the world is now, you’re not alone. But you are far from done.
No one is ‘less than’ because they have retired. They are just beginning to show up in a whole new way.
As Dr. Suess said in his book “Oh, The Places You will Go”,
"Today is your day! Your trail is waiting. So...get on your way!" .
Sources for deeper exploration:
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